i have been married 14 years. my wife abused me emotionally and financially for 6 years. My wife had…

i have been married 14 years. my wife abused me emotionally and financially for 6 years. My wife had a normal job and she joined the ANC. In order to secure us financially she was never home and i raised our 2 children alone. I was a stay at home dad until 3 years ago. For the last 3 years i had to go to work and then see to the kids alone. MY wife has controll over my bank card and was in control of all money. My wife had climbed the ladder at the ANC very well and also served as a member of the ANCYL NEC. We seperated in the first weekof November. A week later while cleaning, i found my wife’s journal in which she wrote about her affairs with ANC leaders like Richard Dyantyi (currently a member of the National Assembly and previously MEC for the Western Cape Provincial Local Government and Housing)

My wife was extremely depressed when she had the affairs and in my opinion these ANC leaders took sex from her (a couple months each) instead of helping her. We have now started the divorce process. It was my intention to disclose these matters by filing complaints at ANC and Parliament. And inform the public as voters have the right who they are voting for. I am also very unhappy that these ANC/Parliament leaders did this for their own benefit. Taking sex from my wife is not in the best interest of my wife, the ANC, Parliament and the public.My wife said that this will destroy her career and reputation.

My wife then went to get a interim protection order against me as she stated that i was threatening her and she feared for her life and the lives of our children. In 14 years there has not been a single act of violence in our marriage. my wife controls everthing in our marriage. I did threatened her a few times but my threats was to disclose her affairs to the public. she wrote the affidavit implying that the threats were to do violence. One of the order’s stipulations is that i cannot disclose any personal information about her to any orginisation or individual at all. I was told that even if i told my mother about her affairs, i will go to jail. She is obviously the main reason for the order. I think she added the word orginization because i wanted to file complaints with the ANC. How am i supposed to defend myself if i cannot even tell anyone of what is happening except a lawyer, but i dpont have money for that.

Our verbal custody agreement is 50:50 (alternating every sunday). She got the order on friday, 6/12. This was during my custody week. She went to fetch the kids from aftercare and kept them with her. on the morning of 7/12 (less than 24 hours after the order was issued) she returned the children to me. the protection order also has the folloing stipulations: (par 3) it states that i must abide by our verbal 50:50 custody agreement. Then in par 4 it says i cannot keep the children away from her.

so when it is her week to have the children she relies on par 3. When it is my week to have the children she invokes par 4 and demand that the kids stay with her during my week (cause par 4 says i cannot keep the children away from her)I have only had my kids for 3 days out of 20. This is very hard for me because i raised my children alone, my wife is also an unfity mother (which i can prove with evidence over a long period). I took a protection order against her, but mine is only a notice and not an interim order like hers which is why she can do this to me. She is alienating me from my kids by abusing her protection order. Also, because my wife went to the police first, i am treated like a piece of crap by the justice system.  So first i get humiliated by being abused by my wife for 6 years (for which i carry allot of shame), then the justice system strips me from the little dignity i have left. I have prepared an affidavit which i attached to my protection order that gives a much better deription of events and can email to you if needed. everone is telling me to wait till the return date (for both orders) on 23 Jan but that feels like an eternity for me. For 9 years i have only been away from my kids for 5 days (in terms of whole days where I didnt see them at all during any day). In the last 20 days they have been away from for 17 days. I dont understand why the justice system is destroying a victim of abuse and actually empowers the abuser to do even more harm to me. 

I have no money (my wife took all), i have no friends (my wife isolated me), my children were taken away from me because the scope of the order is to wide and not a single peron or orginsation is willing to help me. I am on my knees and begging you for any help plz. 

[Source] Click here to view the answer to this question

Tagged with: